“Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story— those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south.”
Psalms 107:2-3 NIV
Sometimes, I’ll hear a testimony that really moves me and all I can do is praise the Lord. I stand back in awe of what God has done in the life of another—bringing the seemingly impossible to pass. It shouldn’t be surprising, after all, He is the God of impossible and nothing is too hard for Him. But awe-inspiring, breath-taking, causing us to wonder in amazement in our hearts? He will always have this effect — on those of us who aren’t blinded by the “god of this world” (2 Corinthians 4:4).
There was a time when I lived in darkness, spiritually blind, a slave to sin. Like the people of Nineveh, in the prophet Jonah’s time, I couldn’t tell my right hand from my left when it came to good and evil (cf. Jonah 4:11). And like the wicked people of Nineveh, God had mercy on me and didn’t abandon me to the path of destruction that I was on. While I was still a sinner, Christ died for me and forgiveness was ready for me before I knew I needed it—the same way this free gift, the grace of God, forgiveness of sins and the inheritance of eternal life, is available to anyone who will repent and call on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.
“When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 6:20-23 NIV
Religion and no relationship
I grew up in the Catholic Church and was surrounded by religion. Though I participated in many religious traditions, I didn’t know God and my view of Him was extremely warped—all of the man-made tradition drowned out the saving power of the true gospel (cf. Mark 7:6-8). I learned many things in that church: which saint to pray to for what, that “queen of Heaven” Mary is our mediator, that I needed to confess to a priest and do my penance to receive forgiveness, if I didn’t get it right in this life maybe I’d get another chance in purgatory—along with a myriad of other practices that directly contradict the Word of God and were invented by men. What I didn’t learn in that church was the actual gospel. Jesus paid it all—there is nothing I can do to earn my salvation. It was finished on the cross. When I call on His name, repenting of my sins to the one and only Mediator (cf. 1 Timothy 2:5-6), He will cover my sins with His righteousness, send me his Holy Spirit to live in me and empower me to live a life that pleases God, and adopt me into the family of God so that I become a partaker in the inheritance of eternal life.
“I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you to live in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ.”
Galatians 1:6-7 NIV
That said, when I did finally hear the undiluted, true gospel—my life was changed forever. It was the saving power of God (Romans 1:16). And God reached me through the power of His Word. It took time for the lies I believed, the strongholds, to come down. But once it started, it has been like the domino effect. Lies being replaced by truth. Praise the Lord! Who am I that the Creator of Heaven and Earth would come after me like that? I am nobody. God chases us down, and it has nothing to do with how “good” we are. I am a perfect example of that, and I’ll tell you why below. God chases us down because He is good—and he loves us.
Dry bones
“Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’ ””
Ezekiel 37:4-6 NIV
I love this verse because I remember who I was before I had the light of Christ. Dry bones indeed. Let me paint a small picture for you.
I was kicked out of the 7th grade for drinking at lunchtime (it wasn’t apple juice). I was a thief, I was a liar, I rebelled against all authority with everything in me. In the 8th grade, my desire to rebel led me to the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people…and a traumatic event ensued. My self-worth took a dive. If there’s one thing that people who feel worthless have in common, it’s that they make bad decisions. In high school, I went from bad to worse. I had an eating disorder, I stole more, lied more, drank and did drugs more, snuck out of the house, skipped classes, hung out with more wrong people and made many bad decisions.
Right after my sixteenth birthday, I was whisked away by transporters under the cover of night and deposited in a middle-of-nowhere wilderness program. No buildings, no showers, a tarp for a shelter, and a sub-zero sleeping bag for a bed. After a few months of trudging up mountains and becoming ever so smelly, I moved on to two more programs—a residential treatment center (oh, how that place made me long to go back to sleeping under the stars and waking up with frozen toes) and then a therapeutic boarding school. By the time I was turning 18 and finally coming back home, I’d sat in front of enough therapists to become very skilled at saying exactly what people wanted to hear. My heart remained unchanged—I was just much better at concealing it.
But God…
God had other plans for me. Only a few short weeks after returning home, He placed my husband-to-be in my path. There were many “just-so-happened” moments, which I now know to be the sovereign hand of the Lord Almighty. This (very handsome, witty, and charming) young man started taking me to Bible studies on Wednesday nights at his church. I was so bewildered by this church because it was so different than anything I’d experienced thus far. And the wildest part? They were teaching from the Bible, verse by verse. The first day we went together, the pastor was teaching about the lukewarm church of Revelation chapter 3. And that double edged sword (Hebrews 4:12) cut straight to my heart and I wrestled with those verses for a while.
“I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.”
Revelation 3:15-20 NIV
Our God is a Consuming Fire
That wrestling match with the Word began a small fire in my heart that soon led me to repentance. Was I suddenly no longer a sinner? Absolutely not. It was a small beginning—little by little those strongholds, the lies I believed, came down. Little by little, the Lord brought healing and restoration into my life that innumerable therapy sessions could never have come close to accomplishing.
At first, my walk with the Lord was more like me stumbling forward inch by inch, the Holy Spirit drawing me closer—the patience of the Lord is great. It began with spotty church attendance. A devotional book here and there. A Christian moms group. But when I really started to read the Bible on my own, Scripture came alive to me and I could finally see clearly. The Word of God flipped on the light for me and gave me the right view of myself, the world, and Almighty God. There’s no looking back now. I am a completely different person than I once was. Far from perfect and still on my journey of sanctification— I still struggle with sins that trip me up (Hebrews 12:1). But I am no where near who I was when I was a slave to sin, unable to help myself but to sin. Now, I’ve been justified by Christ—made right with God. And when I do mess up, I’m no longer a slave to my sin, the Holy Spirit convicts me, I repent, and the Lord continues to refine me until the day He brings me to completion.
“…being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 1:6 NIV
My heart used to be filled with all kinds of sin, my only inclination was to sin. I’ve been given a brand new life and the joy and peace I now have—I never even had a glimmer of before. I had the “fleeting pleasures of sin” (Hebrews 11:25) and then depression, emptiness, and heartbreak. Now I have endless joy, even through hard times. In this world we will have trouble, but Jesus promises abundant life to the full (cf. John 16:33 and John 10:10). And, oh, how my cup overflows. I look back at what He’s done in my life and cover my mouth in awe and fear of Him. What kind of love is this that the Maker of all things would consider me, a pitiful sinner, and make all things new in my life?
“All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.”
Ephesians 2:3-5 NIV
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