If only we had not fallen into the trap of more is more. No, often times more is just unhelpful and stressful. When we started out this parenting journey, my husband and I agreed to be minimalists. And that sounds nice, except we have this very pesky sinful nature that is never satisfied or content — and so we war within ourselves between an insatiable desire for more and our Spirit-led nature that pushes us towards contentment.
“Death and Destruction are never satisfied, and neither are human eyes.” -Proverbs 27:20 NIV
One of my daughters loves stuffed animals. When she was little, the couple that she had were so special to her and she would play pretend with them for hours. Then her wise and loving mother thought, “Well, if she loves stuffed animals so much, I need to buy her more, of course!” And so, the stuffed animals piled up and the joy my child once had with them evaporated. Instead of having a couple of very special toys and ample space to play with them, she had an overflowing toy-bin, none were special anymore, and her play space was an uninspiring, cluttered mess. The fun was gone; she just wanted the next toy. Then she’d enjoy it for a very brief time before it was lost in the many and she was too overwhelmed to choose what to play with. How I wish I hadn’t learned that lesson the hard way.
Oh, and sibling fights over toys? That is so much fun, right? Siblings who have so much fun together when there are no toys around are quickly ready to physically injure one another over something neither of them even cared about until the other touched it. My husband and I noticed that when we’re all outside and there are no toys, our girls have the time of their life enjoying one another, playing pretend with sticks, looking for bugs, making “squirrel food” with leaves and flowers, etc. Even when we’re indoors, if my girls can get a game going without toys (e.g. playing pretend, arts and crafts — with the exception of crafts that are basically toys), they can usually play joyfully for a long time without fighting.
Keep it simple
The solution is simple: let’s stop buying things we don’t really need. Easily said, harder to do. For me, this looks like keeping a budget with my husband so we can keep each other accountable, talking about purchases beforehand, setting gifting boundaries with well-meaning grandparents (love you guys!), and my all-time favorite (I’m being sarcastic) — waiting. Usually, if I “sleep on it”, I have a much better perspective because I’m able to step out of my impulsive haste and think clearly. And when I think clearly, I remember how lovely it is to have an uncluttered home and kids who can have fun with the gifts God freely gives them each day — like siblings, snuggles, seashells, beetles, and the list goes on and on…
“The blameless spend their days under the Lord’s care, and their inheritance will endure forever.” -Psalms 37:18 NIV
When I find myself walking down the familiar path of discontentment, I fight back with the truths of Scripture. Lately, I just remind myself, “I spend my days under His care.” And, “He’s given me everything I need for a godly life” (cf. 2 Peter 1:3). And I remind my girls of these truths, too. Discontentment will crop up in all of us, at times, on this side of Heaven. Before we were justified in Christ, we were ruled by this nature and we couldn’t help ourselves—we were slaves to sin. Now, we will wrestle with our sin nature until we enter into glory, but we’re no longer ruled by it.
“In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.” -Romans 6:11-14 NIV
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