When I first became a mother, I was determined to be the best mother I could possibly be. I spent lots of time reading secular parenting books and online articles.
This pursuit of worldly wisdom left me confused and frustrated. It seemed on every topic, there was a huge range of strong opinions. From sleep training, to feeding, to how to do schooling, etc.
Has anyone ever heard it said that motherhood is sanctifying? Well, the Lord has been doing a sanctifying work in my life as I’ve stumbled around all over the place, trying to do motherhood (and marriage and everything else!) in my own strength.
Trying and failing in my own strength led me to one place: the foot of the cross, in need of a Savior. And now I realize that the secret to being a good parent has nothing to do with stroller brands or organic applesauce. The true secret to being a good parent is knowing you can’t do it without Jesus.
When we seek Him first, He will guide us in everything else
Jesus said, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” – John 15:5
At the core of all our parenting, we need a relationship with Jesus. We can trust that when we have a relationship with the Lord, He will guide us and give us wisdom on how to uniquely parent the child(ren) that He gave us.
Galatians 5:22-24 tells us, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”
In these fruits of the Spirit, we find a picture of our greatest parenting. When we’re not walking in the Spirit (meaning connected to Jesus, the vine) we cannot face the daily challenges of parenting without becoming bitter, impatient, harsh, discouraged, disinterested, or dissatisfied. We might start off intending well, but ultimately, we were never meant to parent (or do life!) alone.
A Light Burden
Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30
The answer to how to be a good parent (and everything else in life for that matter) is not complicated. It’s simple— we so desperately need Jesus. When we accept his sovereignty in our life, we can trust that he will lead us into what’s best for us and our children. We don’t have to figure it all out on our own.
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